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Do you find yourself thinking about the past or worrying about the future? If so, you’re not alone. Many of us feel this way at one time or another. For years my anxiety was so bad that’s pretty much all I could do. I would constantly worry or speculate about what could happen or beat myself up over embarrassments from my past.
Even when I had something to look forward to like a vacation, I spent all my time focused on the upcoming trip. And when I got there, I spent way too much time having anxiety about it ending. I rarely spent time focusing on how to enjoy life’s little moments.
Everyone constantly thinks about the past and the future, and very few people live in the present moment. Think about your own experience, are most of your thoughts centered around the past or the future?
- You may think about past mistakes to try to avoid making them again in the future.
- You may obsessively think about future goals and try to achieve them by any means necessary. You think about the past successes and try to repeat them in the future.
And on and on it goes.
So, how can you spend time just living? The answer is by connecting with the present moment. You physically live in the present but how often do you honestly connect with that moment? If you’re like I used to be, you probably spend way too much time thinking and not enough time being. Here’s the big problem with thinking too much. No matter what you do, you cannot change the past or predict the future.
Do you want to learn how to enjoy life’s little moments? Then the only thing you can do is start making the most of the present. And the good news is that getting started isn’t hard. There are some simple things you can do to refocus your mind and enjoy the present.
Connecting with the Present Moment Vs. Mindfulness
When people hear, “live in the present moment,” they often think of mindfulness. And I’m here to tell you that they are not necessarily the same.
Lots of people don’t like the idea of mindfulness. The term has grown in popularity in recent years and there are different objections. Some people think mindfulness means you have to meditate. Others think that it’s a religious practice and shy away from it for that reason. If you don’t like the idea of meditating, or the idea of mindfulness for whatever reason, the good news is that you can learn to live in the present without getting caught up in mindfulness.
So, let’s talk about mindfulness for a minute, and let’s also talk about connecting with the present.
Mindfulness indeed has roots in many spiritual traditions. Most people believe that Buddhism is the source of mindfulness, but it is rooted in many if not most religions. From Taoism to Judaism to Christianity. Quakers for example sit in silent reflection at the beginning of meetings until someone is moved to speak.
Mindfulness is about living consciously. Paying attention to your experience and not getting caught up in thought. It’s also about being open and curious even when faced with challenging experiences.
Mindfulness and living in the present are somewhat interchangeable but, the ideas don’t have to be connected to religion or rigorous meditation practice to be beneficial.
Contact with the present moment is an idea taught in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. It’s about learning how to pay attention to everyday experiences in a flexible way. Meaning you can narrow, widen, or redirect your focus as needed.
For this article, I want you to think about connecting with the present moment in a simple way and throw out any preconceived notions you may have about mindfulness in general. Additionally, these 15 mindfulness without meditation practices are a great way to start connecting with the present.
Enjoy Life’s Little Moments More by Noticing the Present
As I mentioned earlier, connecting with the present doesn’t mean meditation. Meditation can strengthen your ability to do this, but it’s not required.
I struggled with meditation at first, and my ACT therapist taught me new ways to live in the present moment by noticing different things.
- Sensations
- Sights
- Smells
- Emotions
You can practice this flexibly – narrowing in on one of these aspects and eventually widening your focus to a few or all of them.
Consider some pleasant examples:
Sensation — Taking a shower.
- Narrowly focusing on sensation, what does the water feel like on your skin?
- Is it hot, warm, cold, or somewhere in between?
- Focus on how the water hits your head. How does it make your scalp feel? What about your hair?
Sights — Looking at a painting.
- Notice the details
- What colors are in the painting?
- Expand out to think about your emotions, how does it make you feel?
- Does it pique your curiosity?
- What do you think the artist intended?
Smells — Cookies in the oven
- Can you separate the smells?
- What are the different flavor notes?
- Does it trigger your sense of taste?
- Does it bring up any memories?
- What emotions do those memories make you feel?
So, as you can see from these examples you can start with something as simple as a sensation and expand your curiosity. Using generally pleasant experiences to practice this will improve your ability to narrow, widen and shift focus, which will ultimately help you build up mental resiliency and flexibility. These skills will translate to many other areas of your life. With that in mind, let’s talk about why connecting with the present moment is important and a key to enjoying your life.
How Living in the Present Helps You Enjoy Life
There are many ways connecting with the present can help you enjoy life. One of the more obvious benefits is that if you stop spending all your time ruminating on the past or worrying about the future you can calm your mind and start enjoying the here and now.
Noticing details in the present moment will improve your perception and information-gathering skills. When I was a little younger, I had trouble reading a room, which created problems for me at work. I also struggled with interpersonal relationships. But now, I notice the behavior of others more, because I’m genuinely tuned in. I even have more empathy for people than I did in the past because my perception improved.
The more you learn to notice the little moments, the better your attention will be. I was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult and learning how to pay attention to the present through ACT therapy improved my focus.
Noticing the present can also help you strengthen relationships. Having genuine curiosity when holding a conversation will make it easier to connect with others. Sure, you may be able to hold a conversation without being fully invested. You may even remember important aspects of it, but when you are present and curious, the person you’re conversing with will feel valued.
Noticing the Present Helps You Connect to Your Values
ACT therapy is also about living your core values. One of my most important values is being a good husband and father. I could go through the motions of living this value by cleaning up the house as an act of service for my wife or playing board games with my kids. But if my mind is elsewhere and not focused on the present then I’m missing out on the enjoyment of living those values. Not only will enjoying these moments add to my experience, but my family will feel more valued as well.
Focusing on Life’s Little Moments Brings Enjoyment
Think about things you may generally consider enjoyable like drinking a cup of coffee, going out to lunch, or taking a day off? Are you actually enjoying these moments if you’re not connecting with them?
You down a cup of coffee while you’re on your way to work. Did you take a moment to savor the taste or breathe in the smell? Did you notice the warm sensation in your belly? Or the cold if you’re an iced coffee in the morning kind of person?
What about the lunch example? Of course, there are all the sensations, smells, and emotions associated with the food that you should focus on, but what about the company you were with? Was your mind 100 percent with them? Did you make them feel valued in the conversation? Did you feel valued? Did it strengthen your relationship or modify your opinion of the person? Or was your mind elsewhere the majority or just some of the time?
Taking a day off is a huge opportunity to enjoy the little moments of the day. Most of us live for the weekend, but when Sunday rolls around what happens? Many of us get the “Sunday Scaries,” and we waste one of our two precious days anxious about work.
How can you enjoy your life if you’re not present for most of it? Sit with that for a moment. If you’re constantly worried about the past or the future, you are going to miss everything in between.
You’re not always going to enjoy life. You can’t always be happy. Like any other emotion, you can’t have the good without the bad. But if you learn how to start connecting with the present then I promise you can start to notice a lot more of the good and start regularly enjoying all of life’s little moments.
How to Practice Living in the Present
Now that you understand how enjoying the little moments can help you live a better life here’s some homework for you. Try connecting to the present by noticing.
When you are taking a walk start by focusing on your feet hitting the ground. Then expand your senses to notice how the sun and wind feel on your skin. Notice what you can hear, and what you can smell.
Do the same thing with any other activity like petting an animal or mowing the grass. Then at the end of the day reflect on it. Ask yourself, “what was the best part of my day?” It doesn’t have to be anything remarkable; it can be simple. This will help highlight how you connected with the present and change your focus if you’ve had a less than great day.
I hope this helps you squeeze a little more enjoyment out of your everyday life.
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