Is happiness an emotion? Well, the answer is that it depends on whom you ask. For example, if you Google “Is happiness an emotion,” you will get numerous websites that answer the question — including this one. Some will say it is not an emotion while others say it is. So, what the heck is going on here? Why are there so many different opinions on the same topic?
This post will explore these questions to help you understand if happiness is an emotion or not, and whether it truly matters. Because the truth is, If you’re asking yourself this question, then chances are you’re having trouble finding and holding on to happiness. So, not only am I going to help you define happiness, but I’m also going to help you learn how to find it in your life.
Is Happiness an Emotion?
As I mentioned, the answer to the question, “Is happiness an emotion?” depends on whom you ask. If you look at it with common sense, then the answer is yes, happiness is an emotion just like joy, contentment, and cheerfulness.
The confusion around this question is a contributing factor to why so many people are frustrated that they are not “happy.” Think of it this way, if you define happiness as emotion would it make sense to chase it as a permanent state of being? Could you imagine chasing being excited, relaxed, or calm all the time? Like happiness, they are all emotions, but you don’t seek them out as a permanent mindset. No story ends with, “and they were excited ever after.” Nevertheless, people believe happiness is a place you can get to, so they spend their lives trying to get there.
You may buy a bigger house or nicer car, but then you may find yourself envious of your neighbor who has an even bigger, better house and car. You may try to make more money because you believe it will solve all your problems. Then, you’re surprised when it doesn’t work and frustrated because happiness is supposed to be this place you can get to. If that’s the case, then why are people unhappy after winning the lottery? Why are billionaires miserable? Is anyone really happy all of the time?
No, because if you consider happiness an emotion like any other, then it wouldn’t make sense to be happy all the time. In fact, the harder you try to obtain pleasure and joy, the more likely you are to feel anxiety and depression about not being happy. This is what world-renowned psychotherapist Russ Harris calls “The Happiness Trap.”
It’s easy to forget that the beauty of your human experience is an array of emotions. You can’t be happy if you never experience sadness. How would you even know you’re happy if you had nothing to compare it to? When we think of happiness as an emotion, it gives us the ability to detach. We can let ourselves off the hook for not being happy all the time.
Does It Matter If Happiness Is An Emotion Or Not?
This is a very common question and for good reason. If happiness is an emotion, then it follows that you can be happy or sad. On the other hand, if happiness is not an emotion, then you are either happy or you are not. This can be quite confusing. Unfortunately, it does matter if happiness is an emotion or not.
Definitions are important, and as I explained, if you only think of happiness as a state of being or a goal to achieve, then you can easily get stuck in “The Happiness Trap.” However, you can’t just place happiness in a box. It isn’t only an emotion. It’s more than that. When you come to this realization, then you can start to understand the difference between happiness as an emotion and happiness as a state of mind.
Is Happiness a State of Mind?
Yes! You see, happiness is an emotion, and it’s a state of mind. It’s also important to know that the two definitions are not mutually exclusive.
So, what do I mean when I say happiness is a state of mind? Well, to simplify a complex idea, it means if you can zoom out on your life as a whole and say that you are generally happy with how you live it, then you have a happy state of mind. This can be true even if you experience days where you’re sad, angry, depressed, anxious, or any other emotion. The key to achieving this state of being is learning how to accept and manage your emotions.
Your thoughts and actions play a huge role in determining whether you are happy. To help you better understand this concept, let’s look at a couple of examples. Imagine you have just been offered a promotion at work. You are ecstatic and so happy that you jump up and down with joy. You can’t wait to tell your family and friends about your new job title and salary. This experience is an example of a happy state of mind.
What if, instead of being excited about the promotion, you are worried about the increased workload and responsibility? You fear failing and letting down your team. You feel like you do not deserve the promotion. These thoughts may make you feel unhappy and depressed. This type of experience is in a state of mind that is not happy.
I expand on this concept of managing emotions in my post, “What Does It Mean When You Can’t Control Your Emotions?” I will also explain how you can live a generally happy life later on in this post, but first, let’s discuss why defining happiness can be so confusing.
Why Is Defining Happiness So Hard?
Happiness is hard to define because it’s complex. You can feel happy at times but be unhappy with your life. Conversely, you can be generally happy with your life but feel depressed at times. Happiness is also the love of a child, the embrace of a spouse, the joy of winning, and every positive emotion in between.
Additionally, happiness is being content in the present moment, making space for negative emotions without fighting against them, and living every day in accordance with your values. You see, happiness is more than just a feeling. It’s a feeling and it is a state of being. This is why defining happiness is so hard. And, it’s only when you understand this concept that you can start to learn how to lead a fulfilling happy life.
How to Make Yourself Truly Happy
If you zoom out and examine the whole of your life, you will see that there are always going to be good days and bad days. Consider this poorly made line chart graphic I created.
As you can see, you are going to experience an array of emotions throughout your life. And, that’s ok. It’s part of being human. It’s why this blog is called Not Quite Zen. You can be unhappy at times while living a happy life. So how do you get to the end of life with the ability to look back and say, “I lived a happy life?”
Here’s how to make yourself truly happy. You have to learn how to live life by your values. Why? Because living a life that doesn’t include your values is a recipe for unhappiness. If you wake up most days and make conscious choices to live in a way that aligns with what you value, then it will be possible for you to find happiness. But, if you’re apathetic, or you’re living in a way that doesn’t align with whom you want to be as a person, then you won’t find happiness.
So, how do you figure out what your core values are? A simple way to surface this is by asking yourself, “what do I want people to say about me at my funeral and whom do I want to be there?” For me, this thought experiment helped me identify my strongest value — family.
But the truth is, you may have many different values depending on what area of your life you think about. Your values at work may be different from your values at play. Your values when it comes to your health may be different from your values in relationships. I struggled with this, so I created an Identifying Core Values Tool. It’s interactive and it will help you identify values that are important to you.
Once you know your values, you must make choices every day based on those values. When you look back on your life, if you can say that most of your choices were in service of your core values then there’s a good chance you will have a happy life. To learn more about the importance of values when it comes to making yourself happy, read my post, “How do Values Affect Behavior.”
Of course, values alone will not achieve happiness. If you’re always looking forward, or behind then you’re not living. Dwelling on the past and the future often leads to anxiety. So, to find happiness, you will also need to figure out how to ease anxiety and connect with the present.
But, to make yourself truly happy you need to learn how to have psychological flexibility. It’s the ability to accept your thoughts and emotions, unhook from negative thoughts, live in the present, examine your experience, know your values, and take committed action to live them.
This subject can, and does, fill up many books, so I won’t be able to cover it fully in this post. But my post on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy offers more insight into this idea.
The good news is that you’ve taken the first step towards living a happier life. You know that happiness is an emotion and a state of mind, and because of that you’re not going to get stuck in “The Happiness Trap.”
You are in control of your life and can take the necessary steps to be more fulfilled. I know because I did it after a lifetime of struggling with anxiety and depression. The only way to make sure that you are happy is to commit to making it happen.
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