“Happily, ever after,” is the ending most of us chase, but finding eternal happiness isn’t actually possible. Why? Because happiness is an emotion, like any other. Life will always present you with challenges and difficulties on a regular basis. Unfortunately, you can’t have the good without the bad, but what if you could find a way to bring happiness into your life more often?
If you’re currently feeling down or struggling to find happiness, it might seem like an uphill battle. However, the good news is that even small changes to your daily routine or habits can have a big impact on how happy you are. Learning how to find joy in the little things, having gratitude, and connecting to the present are all things that can help you lead a happier life.
If you’re ready to take control of your life and start making positive changes, keep reading for 21 happiness tips to improve your life.
1. Adopt A Growth Mindset
One of the easiest ways to improve your perspective and change your attitude is to adopt a growth mindset. When you have a growth mindset, you are accepting and open to the idea that you can grow and develop as a person.
What matters most is taking steps to grow, learn, and improve your life and yourself. But, before you can take steps to grow, you should first identify your values.
2. Live Life According To Your Values
Living life according to your values is a great way to improve your happiness. Your values are the things that are most important to you, such as honesty, kindness, and love. They are the things that drive you, your passions, and what you would like to achieve with your life.
You can think of values like a GPS for your life. If you follow them, then you will feel more fulfilled. In fact, living a life that’s not congruent with your values is a recipe for being miserable.
To live according to your values, it’s important to know what they are first. This can be challenging for many people, so I have created an interactive tool that will walk you through several questions designed to surface your values. The tool is below, you won’t have to leave this page. If you’re on a mobile device, and you have trouble with the embedded tool, please use this direct link.
3. Take Committed Action Based On Values
As stated above, to grow you must take action. Knowing your values can help you identify what actions you need to take. Consider the fictional example below of how someone can take values-based committed action:
John suffers from social anxiety. So much so that he refuses to go to gatherings or meet up with friends. This inaction is also causing him to feel lonely. John’s core values include kindness, persistence, and caring. Considering these values, here are some actions he can take to overcome his social anxiety:
- He can acknowledge that he suffers from social anxiety and decide to go to the next gathering he’s invited to anyway because he cares for his friends and values those relationships.
- When he goes to the gathering, he can bring a gift to show kindness to the host.
- Acknowledging that he’s going to still struggle, he can commit to starting therapy and find other ways to persist in trying to overcome his social anxiety.
Committed action based on values often works to overcome anxiety and other struggles because values can be stronger than the problem. It’s not that you try to ignore or get rid of the issue, you decide that living by your values is more important than the comfort of inaction.
Learning how to take committed action can majorly boost happiness because it forces you to take steps to live life according to your values. To learn more about values work, I highly suggest you read my post, “How Do Values Affect Behavior.”
4. Practice Gratitude
Studies have shown that gratitude has a huge impact on your happiness. There are many reasons this happens, but the main one I’ve experienced is that gratitude forces me to be thankful for what I have in my life. When I practice gratitude, I’m less likely to worry about or focus on the things that I perceive as missing.
You can practice gratitude in several different ways.
- Keep a gratitude journal where you write down three things that you are thankful for each day.
- Make a gratitude jar where you write down things that you are grateful for, and then read them from time to time.
- When you’re feeling down or focused on the future, stop and name five things you’re grateful for.
- At dinner ask yourself and your family, “what was the best part of your day?” This will force you and them to think about something positive, even if the day wasn’t great.
By being grateful for what you have, you are likely to feel happier and more appreciative of life in general.
5. Be Compassionate To Yourself And Others
When a friend is being self-critical, and they feel sad, how do you treat them? If you’re a good friend, you probably tap into compassion and try to tell them positive things about themselves that will make them feel better. It probably makes you feel happy that you could be a shoulder for your friend to lean on.
Now think about how you treat yourself when you’re being self-critical. Do you treat yourself with compassion, or do you continue to beat yourself up? Do you start to believe the terrible things you think about yourself? Do you tell yourself the same negative stories over and over again?
When we don’t have self-compassion, we often reinforce the negative thoughts we have about ourselves, and it perpetuates a cycle of unhappiness. I used to do this a lot until a friend said something to me that shocked me to my core. One day when I was talking negatively about myself, she yelled at me and said, “Hey, be nice to my friend Tony!” This completely changed my perspective. I thought, “she’s right, why would I say mean things to myself that I wouldn’t say to others?”
Be your own friend. Have self-compassion. If you’re not being kind to yourself, then it’s likely that you won’t be very happy. So, what does it mean to be kind to yourself?
Being kind to yourself means treating yourself well, nourishing yourself, and taking good care of your mental and physical health. It means not putting pressure on yourself or putting yourself down. It means being gentle with your thoughts and feelings and not beating yourself up for not being perfect.
Be your own friend, and try to accept yourself for who you are.
6. Don’t Dwell On The Negatives
If you are someone who often dwells on the negative, then it’s time to reframe your way of thinking. Negative thoughts often cloud our minds and hold us back from achieving our goals.
There are several different techniques you can use to let go of negative thinking. One is to remind yourself that thoughts are not facts. So, if you’re telling yourself, “I’m a loser.” Instead say, “I’m having the thought that I’m a loser.” Notice the separation from the thought. It’s not that the thought goes away, but you acknowledge it as a thought, not a fact, and it can lose its power over you.
Another technique is visualization. You can visualize your thoughts as cars passing you on the freeway. Notice them and let them go. Or picture them as leaves on a stream and let them float by.
These techniques are not meant to get rid of your negative thoughts, they are just meant to help you create distance so that you can be in the present moment. This will allow you to clear your mind and focus on taking action toward how you want to live.
To learn more about overcoming negative thoughts, read my post, “Challenging Negative Thoughts: How To Take Back Control of Your Life.”
7. Read Books About Happiness
There are some great books out there that can help shift your perspective on happiness and teach you to live a more rewarding life. Here are a few I highly recommend:
1. The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris
Based on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) this book will teach youhow to clarify your values, develop self-compassion, and find true satisfaction. It will also help reframe your view of what happiness is and how you can find it. Russ Harris is a world-renowned psychotherapist and has helped millions of people improve their mental health.
2. You, Happier by Daniel G. Amen, M.D.
After studying more than 200,000 brain scans of people from 155 countries, Dr. Amen has discovered five primary brain types and seven neuroscience secrets that influence happiness. In You, Happier, he explains them and offers practical, science-based strategies for optimizing your happiness.
3. 10% Happier: How I Tamed the Voice in My Head, Reduced Stress Without Losing My Edge, and Found Self-Help That Actually Works–A True Story by Dan Harris
In 2014, former ABC News anchor, Dan Harris published his memoir 10% Happier. The book—which describes his reluctant embrace of meditation after a drug problem, an on-air freak-out, and an unplanned “spiritual” journey—became an instant bestseller, and Dan, to his surprise, became a public evangelist for mindfulness.
8. Do Something Productive
Have you ever had a day where you didn’t do much, but you should have? When that happens to me it makes me feel depressed. This is usually the case when I’m tired and can’t muster up the energy to get going on projects. Well, the good news is that the opposite can be true as well. On days when I’m productive, I feel much better. Why? Because our minds like to be challenged. It increases levels of dopamine, the feel-good hormone, and that’s why being productive can increase your happiness.
If you’re having a day where you’re dragging, try to do even the smallest bit of productive work. This can be on a job, or a hobby you’re interested in. Set a timer for 10 minutes and stick to it. Because the more productive and engaged we are, the more fulfilling our life can feel.
9. Learn Something New
Like being productive, learning something new is an excellent way to challenge your mind and boost your happiness. In addition to developing skills, learning something new can help you to meet people and expand your social circle. This can also have a positive effect on your level of happiness because having friends can increase feelings of self-worth, improve confidence, and combat loneliness.
There are so many things that you can learn, such as a new language, a new sport like pickleball, or a new skill like crocheting. Overall, learning new things is a great way to keep your mind and body active, and it can help you to feel more engaged in life.
10. Listen To Music
Research has shown that listening to music can also help your brain release dopamine. Think about how music has affected your mood in your own life. I know that if I’m having a sluggish morning, I can turn on some upbeat music and it energizes me.
Some research even suggests that sad music can make people feel better because it helps them feel emotionally connected to others who have experienced the same problems. However, it should also be noted that the same research found that people with clinical depression did not see this same benefit.
Regardless, the next time you’re cleaning the house, doing work, or just having a so-so day, try to put on some “happy” music to improve your mood.
11. Book An Experience
Experiences are a great way to enrich your life and make happy memories. I’m a bit of a homebody, so I don’t get out much, but recently when I took my wife to a concert, it was one of the best nights we had in months. If you think back on your own experiences, they probably made you feel happier too.
Vacations, dinner out, seeing a show, or any number of experiences can have a great effect on our overall well-being. Even the simple act of planning a vacation can increase your mood.
You don’t have to break the bank, going for coffee at a new café is enough to increase your level of happiness.
12. Treat Yourself
I think that experiences are better than material goods when it comes to increasing happiness, but there’s nothing wrong with treating yourself occasionally. Get that Pumpkin Spice Latte, order the new Taylor Swift album, or buy that pair of jeans you’ve been eying.
Retail therapy can make you feel a little happier in the moment, just don’t use it as a substitute for improving your mental health. It can drain your bank account and leave you feeling empty.
Don’t take my word for it, check out The Minimalists to learn more about the trappings of material things.
13. Turn Off Your Phone
How much time do you spend on your phone every day? Your attention is a commodity. Work wants you to respond to emails instantly, social media apps never want you to quit scrolling, and news sites want you to keep reading. I don’t know about you, but most of these activities fill me with burnout and existential dread.
Your phone and social media can cause a lot of anxiety. I figured this out when I went backpacking for the first time. Being alone in the woods with my brother and having no cell service for two days was one of the best things that ever happened to me. Completely disconnecting from technology greatly increased my happiness and alleviated a lot of the burnout symptoms I was feeling. I was so inspired by this experience that I used it to develop a method to reduce stress called Burnout First Aid.
So, if you want to increase your happiness, then you need to learn how to turn off your phone and disconnect from the world.
14. Go Outside And Breathe In The Fresh Air
Spending time in the great outdoors can be a great way to unwind and refresh your mind. You can go for a walk, hike, or jog. Alternatively, you can sit under a tree, eat outside, or take a scenic drive.
Going outside can be a way to instantly increase your happiness. There are also many other benefits, including reduced anxiety, lower blood pressure, and improved mood and productivity.
15. Practice Random Acts of Kindness
Buying someone a cup of coffee, letting someone go ahead of you in line, or holding the door open are all great ways to practice kindness. My dad used to call it his “good deed for the day.”
Kindness is another research-backed method for increasing happiness, but I probably don’t have to tell you that. If you think about the times in your life when you were nice to others, it probably made you feel good.
16. Connect To The Present
When you dwell on the past or worry about the future, you can miss out on the present moment. This can be detrimental to your mental health and can lead to feelings of anxiety and depression. To avoid this, you need to learn to connect to the present moment.
Meditation is one of the most popular ways to clear your mind and connect to the present, but so is being mindful without meditation. These activities can be noticing the positives in your life, taking a mindful walk, being present while spending time with family, and so much more.
Focus on the things that are happening around you, connect with your senses, and be in the moment. It’s easy to be worried and anxious all the time if you’re focused on the past or future. Grounding in the present can bring calm and happiness. If you don’t learn to do this, much of your life will pass you by leaving you wondering where all the time went.
17. Give Back To Others
One of the best ways to improve your happiness is to give back to others. There are many ways to give back to your community, your country, and the world. You can volunteer your time at a local organization or charity, or you can raise money for a cause.
You don’t have to have a lot of time on your hands to make a difference. Even something as simple as giving up your seat on the bus to a disabled person can make a big difference. When you give back to others, you often come away feeling happier, more fulfilled, and more connected to the world.
18. Incorporate Mental Health Into Your Daily Routine
Learning how to create a daily routine for mental health is a great way to increase your happiness. Taking control of your mental well-being is an active process. It’s not just going to therapy; it’s going to therapy and doing the work. Or it’s reading self-help books and applying what you learn to your life. Even when you get better, it takes maintenance to keep your mental health positive because life will always happen.
If I don’t meditate daily, remember to be mindful, and practice gratitude then my mental health suffers. The more I incorporate mental health into my daily routine the happier I feel, and the same can be true for you.
19. Get Some Exercise
Working out five days a week was the only thing that got me through college without having a mental breakdown. Exercise is hands down one of the best ways to improve your mental health and increase happiness.
When you exercise your brain releases that sweet dopamine, your body feels better, your energy levels increase, and it provides so many other great benefits. Now, I’m not suggesting you work out five days a week, I certainly don’t anymore, but try to get in at least three hours a week. You can take a walk, ride a bike, lift weights, or whatever sounds most appealing to you.
20. Spend Time With Animals
According to the National Institutes of Health (NIH), spending time with animals can decrease cortisol, a stress hormone, and blood pressure. Studies also suggest that animals can reduce feelings of social isolation and improve your mood.
So, if you want to feel happier, get a pet, go to a pet café, or visit a petting zoo.
21. Stop Chasing Happiness
These happiness tips to improve your life will only work if you apply them. Happiness is something that is entirely up to you. Finding joy in the little things and focusing on gratitude in life can help you lead a happier life. However, it’s important to remember that it’s impossible to always be happy. There are going to be times when you are sad, frustrated, angry or any number of other emotions. Just remember that the array of emotions we all experience is part of what makes us human. Experiencing negative emotions can also make you more appreciative of the times when you do feel happiness.
It’s possible to have a more fulfilling life overall, and these happiness tips to improve your life are a great start.
