My favorite Christmas song has long been “Please Come Home For Christmas,” by The Eagles, and “Blue Christmas” by Elvis Presley is a close second. As someone who suffered from depression for many years, it’s no surprise I’m drawn to songs about having the holiday blues.
The holiday season is supposed to be a time of joy and celebration, but for many people, it can be sad and lonely. If you’re struggling with depression and loneliness during the holiday season, you’re not alone.
In this post, I’ll discuss what the holiday blues is, what causes them, and I will offer you some practical tips to get you through this time of year.
What Is The Meaning of The Holiday Blues?
It’s safe to assume you’re already familiar with regular sadness, loneliness, and depression, so what makes the holiday blues different?
To start, the holiday blues are generally temporary. It’s a common experience that can be triggered by a variety of factors, and if you feel this way it doesn’t necessarily mean you have a mental health condition.
The holiday season can be overwhelming, with the demands of holiday celebrations, such as shopping, cooking, and entertaining. It can also be a time of loneliness or isolation, especially if you’re unable to be with loved ones, lack a meaningful relationship in your life, or if you recently lost someone. Additionally, the holiday season can bring financial stress, as people may feel pressure to buy gifts or travel.
Despite these challenges, it is important to remember that the holiday blues are a common and temporary experience. It is okay to feel sad or stressed at times. It just means you’re human.
What Causes The Holiday Blues?
I touched on this already, but let’s dive a bit deeper into what causes the holiday blues. Like any other time of year, loneliness and sadness can be caused by several factors including, but not limited to:
- Social isolation
- Lack of sense of belonging
- Low self-esteem
- Grief
- Financial stress
- Negative life events like a divorce
- And clinical depression
However, the holiday blues are a little different. Though the feeling can result from the same factors that influence mood throughout the year, the holiday season is a time of added pressure.
There’s the expectation to spend time with family and friends, exchange gifts, and attend parties and events. This can be overwhelming, especially when you try to juggle multiple things at once.
Society and The Hallmark Channel also manufacture the idea that Christmas is a time for love and romance. So, if you’re alone and you don’t meet a prince at a tree farm in Vermont then you might not be feeling very joyful right now. This feeling can also be magnified if you are unable to be with loved ones during the holiday season, you have lost someone, or you recently experienced a breakup.
If you’re struggling to meet any of these expectations, even ones you place on yourself, it can be easy to feel left out and alone. Additionally, if you’re someone who already struggles with mental health issues, such as depression, anxiety, or grief, then the holidays can be even more challenging.
How Do You Fix The Holiday Blues?
Unfortunately, the holiday blues are not like a leaky faucet so you can’t pull out a toolbox and instantly make it better, but there are several strategies you can use to cope and overcome these feelings.
1. Set Realistic Expectations.
It’s important to set realistic expectations for yourself and others. The holiday season doesn’t have to be perfect, and it’s okay to say no to activities and events that don’t align with your values or goals. This can help reduce the pressure and stress contributing to the holiday blues.
Additionally, if you’re alone right now, that’s ok. It’s perfectly normal to not be in a relationship. Don’t put pressure on yourself to find love during the holidays. Remember that love can happen at any time, and it is okay to be single. Instead, spend time doing things you enjoy. One day you will be in a relationship, and you may look back on this time fondly.
2. Practice Self-Care
Speaking of doing things you enjoy; this is the perfect time to practice a little self-care. Take some time to engage in activities that nourish your mind, body, and spirit. Go see a movie by yourself (I love doing this), try that yoga class you’ve been thinking about, pick up that old guitar, or book a massage. There are so many ways you can practice self-care and doing any activity you enjoy is sure to make you feel better even if only for a moment.
3. Maintain Healthy Habits
There’s nothing wrong with indulging a bit. Drinking a holiday cocktail, and eating some Christmas cookies, are perfectly ok. However, it’s important to maintain healthy habits, such as eating well, exercising regularly, and getting enough sleep. These activities can help to improve your mood and reduce stress and anxiety.
Maintaining healthy habits can also help get you through the season. According to Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine, heart attack rates can spike by as much as 40 percent between Christmas and New Year’s.
4. Find Ways To Connect
Another important strategy for coping with the holiday blues is to reach out to friends and family for support. Sharing your feelings with others can help to validate your experience and provide a sense of connection and support. It can also be helpful to connect with others who are struggling with the holiday blues, whether through support groups, online forums, or social media.
You should also consider volunteering your time for a good cause or finding a local group based on a hobby you like. This can be a great way to meet new people. You don’t have to spend the holiday season held up in your home.
5. Be Present
Learning how to connect with the present can help you enjoy the season more. If you stop dwelling on the past or worrying about the future, you can calm your mind and start enjoying the present moment.
You can try being present by noticing what’s happening around you. So, for example, when you’re doing a holiday activity like baking cookies, there are several things you can do to be present. You can turn off your phone and minimize distractions, pay attention to your senses at the moment, and try to limit thinking about what you have to do next.
To learn more about how to be present and joyful, read my post, “How To Enjoy Life’s Little Moments.”
6. Learn How To Ease Your Anxiety
If you’re feeling overwhelmed and anxious, it can be helpful to find ways to calm your anxiety and find some peace. Many strategies can help you ease anxiety, such as:
- Practicing relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or mindfulness meditation.
- Engaging in physical activity like walking, swimming, or stretching.
- Writing your feelings down to get them off your chest.
- Spending time in nature.
By using these strategies, you can find ways to ease anxiety and find some peace during times of stress. For more details on how to reduce anxious feelings, read my post, “14 Ways To Ease Anxiety When You’re Overwhelmed.” Or, for advice on dealing with anxiety during the holidays, read “Holiday Anxiety: Why It Happens And How To Deal.”
Additionally, The Ultimate Guide to Anxiety: A Deep Dive from Someone Who’s Been There offers a comprehensive overview on all things anxiety.
7. Focus on Mood-Boosting Activities
There are plenty of ways to improve your mood when you have the holiday blues. You can:
- Listen to music.
- Treat yourself to something nice.
- Watch an uplifting movie.
- Visit a coffee shop to change your environment.
- Buy a new outfit.
Any number of mood-boosting activities can help improve overall well-being and enhance feelings of happiness and joy. They can also help reduce stress, anxiety, and depression, helping you beat back the holiday blues. For more ideas on improving your mood, read my post, “50 Ways to Improve Your Mood When You Are Having A Bad Day.”
When It’s More Than The Holiday Blues
It is normal to experience some ups and downs during the holiday season, and as I said the holiday blues are a common and temporary experience. But what if your feelings of sadness, depression, or loneliness persist past the new year? Or, if these feelings interfere with your ability to get through daily life?
If that’s the case, then it may be helpful to seek support. Here are some signs that you may need to seek help for the holiday blues:
- You are unable to enjoy activities that you normally enjoy.
- You are feeling overwhelmed or unable to cope with daily tasks.
- You are experiencing significant changes in appetite or sleep patterns.
- You are feeling isolated or disconnected from others.
- You are experiencing thoughts of suicide or self-harm.
If you are persistently experiencing any of these symptoms, or if you’re considering harming yourself, then it is important to seek help from a mental health professional. A therapist or counselor can help you identify the underlying causes of your holiday blues and develop coping strategies to manage your feelings. You can also call 988 the national suicide and crisis lifeline.
With the right strategies and support, you can overcome the holiday blues and find joy and happiness during this special time of year.
