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Today is one of those days, your mind is racing with negative self-talk and worry about what the future holds. The thought of going anywhere makes you want to throw something across the room, and as your stress levels increase, so does your anxiety.
If you are prone to anxiety or have experienced it in the past, you know how difficult it can be to live with this condition daily. In my experience, I’ve never been able to get rid of anxiety, but I have found there are two effective ways to deal with it.
If anxiety is holding you back from achieving your goals, then you can conquer it by taking committed action tied to your values. I like to call this brute-forcing your anxiety, and I explain how to do it in my post, “How to Conquer Your Anxiety With Brute Force.”
However, anxiety isn’t always something that you need to overcome. Sometimes, when you’re feeling overwhelmed, you simply need a way to calm your anxiety so you can find some peace. Fortunately, there are many ways to ease anxiety.
Whether your anxiety is triggered by a specific event or life’s general stressors, the following techniques will help you feel less anxious so you can clear your mind and bring more calm to your day.
1. Observe Your Anxiety
Before you start trying to calm an anxious feeling, you should try to make space for it. This practice is often challenging because of something called “The Struggle Switch.”
Dr. Russ Harris, a renowned psychotherapist who focuses on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) coined the term and he explains that it’s like a switch in your brain. When negative thoughts or anxiety pop up, the switch flips and the only thing you can focus on is getting rid of these emotions. When this happens, negative feelings often intensify, and anxiety increases.
You can turn off the struggle switch by making room for your anxiety. Then next time you feel anxiety increasing try to observe it by noticing how it feels physically. You want to collect as much information as possible about what you’re experiencing. To do this, ask yourself questions such as:
- Where do I feel this anxiety in my body?
- What kind of feeling is it?
- Am I sweating, tense, or nauseous?
- What makes it worse or better?
What you’re doing is creating a clear picture of what the anxiety feels like for you so you can better understand it. The other activities in this post can also help you turn off the struggle switch.
2. Breathing Exercises
When you’re feeling anxious, you may notice that your breath becomes rapid and shallow. You may even be holding your breath altogether. Breathing exercises ease anxiety by bringing your focus back to your body and breath. This can help you relax, calm your anxiety, and connect with the present moment.
Here are a couple you can try:
Anchor Breathing
- Set a timer for three minutes.
- Find an anchor on your body by placing your hand on your heart or your belly.
- Take a deep breath in and focus on your chest or belly expanding.
- As you exhale pay attention to how the ribs or stomach fall back down.
- Continue like this until the timer ends paying attention to the rising and falling of the air entering and exiting your body.
Box Breathing
- Breathe in slowly letting the air fill and expand your lungs as you count to four.
- Hold your breath for four.
- Exhale for four.
- Repeat this for two minutes.
3. Defuse Negative Thoughts
In ACT therapy, cognitive defusion can help you create some distance from unwanted thoughts. Cognitive Defusion is a technique that was developed by Dr. Steven Hayes, an American psychologist, to help patients suffering from depression and anxiety. Simply put, it is the process of recognizing your thoughts as just thoughts, rather than facts or truths about reality.
When you become aware of these thoughts for what they are, you’ll feel less inclined to act on them automatically. By doing this, you can gain more control over your emotions and behaviors.
I often like to use the example of comparing your thoughts to a GPS. When you’re driving, the GPS tells you which way to go, but if it tells you to turn right when there’s no right turn, you’re probably not going to listen. The same can be true for our thoughts. You may tell yourself you’re not good enough, but is that actually true?
To learn more about different defusion techniques read my post, “How to Interrupt Negative Thought Patterns.”
4. Get Some Exercise
Exercise is one of the best ways to ease anxiety. Exercising helps to release endorphins in your body and reduces stress hormones. The result is an improved mood. When I’m anxious if I go for a walk or lift weights, I often find I feel much better afterward.
You want to choose an exercise that you will enjoy, and the good news is that it doesn’t have to be intense to experience the benefits. Taking a walk, stretching, or doing some yoga are all great options.
5. Talk to A Friend
You might want to be left alone when you’re feeling anxious but talking to a friend may be exactly what you need. Talking about your feelings and worries can be a huge help when you’re feeling anxious. You can release your anxiety and negative emotions by getting them off your chest; use your friend as a sounding board.
Talking to a friend can also be a great way to build your support network. You should surround yourself with positive people who want to see you succeed.
6. Write Your Feelings Down
When you’re feeling anxious, it can be difficult to make sense of your feelings and know what to do with them. Like talking with a friend, writing down your feelings can help you process them.
You can write about your anxiety, worries, or anything that’s making you upset. Writing down your feelings can help you to organize your thoughts, release negative emotions, and give you a place to start to work through your anxiety and move past it.
As a bonus, when you’re done, write down three things you are grateful for. Gratitude has been scientifically proven to increase happiness which in turn can decrease anxiety.
I highly recommend journaling every day as a preventative step to combat anxiety. This is the one I use, “Let That Sh*t Go: A Journal for Leaving Your Bullsh*t Behind and Creating a Happy Life.”
7. Practice Mindfulness
The goal of mindfulness is to help you connect with the present moment. Anxiety is often rooted in worries about the future. By focusing on the present, you can ease those feelings of worry and live your life in the now. Even a few minutes can make a huge difference.
You can practice mindfulness with meditation. The Calm app and Headspace are great ways to start. Or, if you’re not into meditating, I wrote a post that covers 15 ways to be mindful without meditation.
Doing these activities consistently is a great way to reduce your anxiety and find more calm.
8. Spend Time in Nature
Spending time in nature can be another great way to ease feelings of anxiety. Being in nature can help you feel more grounded and more in tune with yourself. According to Harvard Health, spending just 20 minutes in nature can lower stress hormones.
You can go for a walk, sit by a lake or river, or eat lunch outside. Spending some extended time in nature by backpacking, camping, or renting a cabin is even better.
9. Try Art Therapy
Art therapy is another great way to reduce anxiety. It can help to clear your mind and give you a sense of calm by focusing on the task at hand.
You don’t have to be artistic to practice art therapy. You can color, play with Play-Doh, doodle, or do an abstract painting. I’ve put together a list of supplies you can buy to get started.
Essential Art Therapy Exercises: Effective Techniques to Manage Anxiety, Depression, and PTSD
Daily Doodle Journal: 365 Days of Creative Prompts
Anxiety Relief Adult Coloring Book
Crayola Colored Pencils 100 Count
Crayola Fine Line Markers Adult Coloring Set
10. Play a Video Game
Playing video games is an excellent way to distract yourself from daily stressors. Whether you play online, on a console, or on your phone, gaming can be an effective way to reduce anxiety and improve mood. It can also be a great way to de-stress after a long day.
There are many different benefits of playing video games. First, it can boost brain power and help improve cognitive development. Additionally, gaming has been shown to improve focus and attention span. And finally, gaming can increase social interaction and communication skills. The more you play with friends, the more you’ll be able to connect with them even when you can’t physically be together.
If you’ve never been a gamer a great place to start is your smartphone. Just search your app store for a game that looks appealing to you. Or, if you have an Amazon device and a Prime subscription you can play a huge library of next-generation games on their cloud gaming service Luna. All you need is a Luna Controller.
I would recommend playing games that will increase mindfulness. Here are a few that I highly recommend:
Animal Crossing: New Horizons (Nintendo Switch)
Build a community from scratch on a deserted island brimming with possibility and cute characters. Create your personal getaway and customize your character, home, decorations, and even the landscape itself. This game will have you entertained for hours and hours.
No Man’s Sky
Experience mindful exploration in a beautiful landscape. A mystery lies at the center of the galaxy, an irresistible pulse that draws you on an epic voyage to discover the true nature of the cosmos.
Stardew Valley
Turn an overgrown field into a lively farm! Raise animals, start an orchard, craft useful machines, and more!
11. Give Your Anxiety a Name
Many times, anxious thoughts can be repetitive stories you tell yourself. For example, constantly telling yourself, “I’m never going to achieve my goals.”
Instead of getting caught up in that thought try acknowledging it by giving it a name, “oh, that’s the I’m never going to achieve my goals story again.” Thank your mind for bringing up the story and then let it go.
When you defuse the thought as a story, not a fact you can create distance from it.
12. Sing Your Negative Thoughts
Like giving your anxiety a name, singing negative thoughts to a familiar tune like the “Happy Birthday to You” song can help you create distance. For example, try it using the thought “I’m going to fail.”
I’m going to fail, I’m going to fail, I’m going to fail, I’m going to fail.
Sounds silly right? Well, that’s the point. When you tell yourself something negative in a silly tune then it has less power.
13. Use a Silly Voice to Speak Anxious Thoughts
Another ACT therapy defusion technique is to speak your anxious thoughts in a silly voice. It can really be any different voice like a foreign accent, Cookie Monster, Elmo, or anything else you can come up with.
Try saying something like, “What if I can’t do it?” a few times in a silly voice and I guarantee it will have less power over your emotions.
14. Talk to a Professional
I’m all for self-help. Working to constantly improve your emotional well-being is a worthy endeavor and something you should do throughout your life. However, there’s no shame in seeking therapy when you’re struggling.
Working with a licensed therapist can help you identify the source of your anxiety and work to reduce it overall. Additionally, a psychiatrist can prescribe medication that may help greatly reduce your anxiety.
Bookmark this article so that the next time you’re feeling anxious, you can try out some of these techniques to help ease your anxiety and find more calm in your life.
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